Fear

Fear: (noun) an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that there is danger or a threat; (verb) to be afraid of something that is perceived dangerous, painful or threatening.

Fear… fear can be paralyzing, making you stay in places that you know you shouldn’t, making it difficult to act or function properly, causing you to go to extreme lengths to avoid anything that triggers your fear. You create elaborate excuses and put off handling anything that produces fear.

That’s where I found myself, creating a storyline for my life that I could deal with and use to keep myself from facing my fears. The fear of not being accepted, the fear of rejection, the fear of not living up to others perception of me; the latter being my greatest fear. I let fear consume me to the point that I was only doing things that pleased others so that they would like me, accept me, and not judge me; and I was miserable. But I couldn’t let anyone know that because I feared what they would think of me. Fear made me stay in a relationship that I knew was not good for me. I became a shrunken version of myself. I lived in fear the duration of the relationship; fear for my life, fear for the consequences of my actions, fear of how this would impact my children, but mostly fear of judgement from others. I imagined people saying “look at her… all those kids…no dad around…she had so much potential…look at her life.” I let those thoughts feed my fear and it left me paralyzed until my shift came and forced me to face everything that I was afraid of.

” Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.”

George Addair

I had to face my greatest fear… (why did this have to happen to me? what will people think of me? how can I face my family?) The shift in my life was the push that I needed to face my fears. My fears were forced out into the open and I couldn’t run anymore. I had to address it, overcome it, and use this experience to learn a lesson. I gained strength in examining the root of fears and it turns out it was not the fear of judgement from people, but my own thoughts about myself. I knew that I deserved better, I knew that I shouldn’t have to stay and deal with the things that I did, but I had been conditioned to believe that I didn’t deserve better, that I was unworthy of the things that I desired for myself and my family. I had been fed lies and those lies fed my fear. But thank God for the shift, my eyes were opened. This is my breakthrough, I deserve and will get everything that I desire, I will move on and heal, and I will use this lesson to help others. “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7

Fears are nothing than a state of mind. Changing your state of mind and beliefs takes practice. Beliefs are just practiced thoughts, so practice faith and self-control. Make a conscious effort to replace fear with another powerful state of mind, love. Love yourself enough to know that you deserve all things good and believe that good things will come to pass.

-Ledge